not fair that you still have some kind of hold over my heart.
it’s been 10 months and yet there are still time’s where i just wanna rip my heart out.
it doesn’t get any easier and i doubt it ever will.
i don’t trust anybody. any guy that comes into my life i just push them away.
it’s not fair that you can go on to have a happy life and im still here broken.
and i hate you for it. i wish i could honestly say i was completely over you but it’d just be one big lie. fuckkkkkk yoou. and thank you for basically ruining me for the next one<3
ON A LIGHTER NOTE.
i honestly feel like i should be one of those people who are drunk all day everyday.
or under the influence of something.
veryvery bad thing.
but i am perfectly content being drunk/high and playing sonic and marvel vs capcom 2 all night <3
haha say whaat you want but it’s true. lol. fear for me one 21st birthday<3
**2011 update incase anyone ever sees this. fuck im so happy with my life now. it GETS easier. sure i havent found anyone who im into YET. but shit lifes not about that. as for being drunk/high every day. LOL no. i barely drink or do anything anymore. usually the only sober one at parties. :)
13098.) Yesterday I got my heart broken and I cried so hard when I got home I started hyperventilating. I never thought someone could cause me so much pain but I miss her so much and I would do anything to have her back.
about how things were. I’m not sure if I miss it, or if I’m happy it’s over with. I’ve learned so much in the past year. I learned what love was, I learned what hating someone with every inch of your soul was like, I learned what it was like to hurt someone and what it was like to get hurt also. I learned so much about myself and the people I surround myself with. I know who I am and I wouldn’t change it for anyone.I learned it was possible to be hated for no reason, I learned I like boys who are way to good for me. I learned that I don’t think before I act. I learned how to make friends and keep them. I learned what it was like to sink so low that it felt like nothing would ever make me happy again. I learned who my real friends were and I’m still learning. But, I can honeslty say, I’m happy with my life and myself right now. <3
I wouldn’t trade these memories for anything.
I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WAS APART OF THIS. I LOVE YOU.<3